Depression After Addiction
You made it! You’re officially detoxed and in recovery! So why aren’t you feeling on top of the world? One word…dopamine.
Dopamine is a naturally occurring hormone. It is often referred to as the “happy hormone.” It manages our pleasure center and it’s the one that gives us our motivation. Our gusto. Our get up ‘n go. Without it, we’re left feeling blah, weak, tired, depressed, and CRAVING MORE. Dopamine is the major player behind our cravings and when it’s out of whack, we’re at major risk of relapse.
Drug addiction drastically impacts our dopamine functioning. On an average day, a person has about 50 nanograms (per deciliter) of dopamine (HMA Institute on Addiction, 2019). Things that bring us pleasure, such as sex, bring our dopamine to about 90 nanograms (HMA Institute on Addiction, 2019). Drugs on the other hand, take our dopamine to levels it was never intended to go. Meth for example, brings our dopamine levels into the 1000’s (HMA Institute on Addiction, 2019).
You can probably guess that during the dreaded detox phase, our dopamine drops exponentially lower than the average day of 50 nanograms, thus feeling like an anxiety-ridden, hopeless, piece of turd during detox. But here’s the kicker that many don’t realize; it may not ever return to normal. It will rise again after the initial crash (detox), but our new baseline may be lower than the average 50 of a normal person indefinitely.
People go to rehab, get clean, come home and assume they should be feeling on top of the world. Nobody ever explains why that feeling may be missing. Not only does this leave people feeling depressed and unmotivated, but intense cravings kick in as our body desperately searches to bring that dopamine level back up. Insert relapse here.
When I was getting high, I was addicted to the lifestyle as much as the heroin itself. Waking up dopesick, hustling for money, racing to shitty areas of the city, and shooting dope on a dirty gas station bathroom floor was a rush. Although some people reading this may be doing so with disgust, wondering how on earth that might seem fun. But it was. It was exciting and I sometimes still miss living a life different than the average Joe’s.
When I came back to normal life after getting clean, going to the movies no longer did a whole lot for me. I became very bored with my life and craved excitement. Excitement can be a dangerous addiction and it can manifest itself in many ways if we don’t control it. Lucky for me, I’ve always been a hippie at heart, and I turned to nature to fill this void. I began hiking regularly at a local patch of woods, camping and backpacking where I could and travelling. I swam in a lake with manatees, rock climbed, rode on a dolphin’s back, kayaked, rappelled, and went scuba diving. I signed up for ALL the adventures and I took my son along with me! .It’s crazy how much money you can save, when you’re not doing heroin!
When we do things we like, our dopamine increases. We can raise our dopamine little bits by eating foods we like, hanging out with friends, or going to a concerts (HMA Institute on Addiction, 2019). More intense, adrenaline-inducing activities like skydiving, base jumping, or riding roller coasters can bring our dopamine levels up more significantly. Doing dopamine-inducing activities not only improves our day to day feelings of well-being, but it also works toward regaining a higher baseline dopamine level. Eventually, our dopamine functioning will return closer to normal and we will feel like a normal person again, no longer having cravings or needing a substance to get us out of bed.
If you are in early recovery and feeling down or having intense cravings, remember that those cravings are a chemical response. It is your body asking for dopamine. Sign up for the guide below to help you feed it what it needs, without going down the rabbit hole. :)
References
Addiction Neuroscience 101 (2019) HMA Institute on Addiction. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwZcPwlRRcc